Sunday, November 26, 2006

Bewildering pauses

What is wrong with me? I sat down to work on an opinion piece for work and it is just not coming. All I seem to be able to do is cut and paste old writings on the same subject. There is no passion for the topic tonight. I keep on thinking that I can procrastinate until tomorrow when I have another written piece to do and then close my door, put my phone on send calls, and write until they are both done.

I have been very uninspired about work recently which is not like me. I am usually so passionate about what I do. I am so lucky. I get to be a leader in a movement that is making a difference in the world. I should always be passionate. But even people like me have their days of going through the motions. I just work at such a frenetic pace usually that I can really feel it right now.

My counselor reminds me that I just came out of six months where I was undergoing alot of stress culminating with the left side of my face ceasing functioning (Bell's Palsy) and the source of my anxiety disappearing. Now I have nothing to fight against. When this happens people can first feel bewildered and out of sorts as I am feeling now.

To add to all of this, I am embarking on an incredible journey next month where my childhood memories will have new feelings and images pasted on top. It's like the pause that happens before waves that have washed ashore drift slowly back out into the sea.

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