Tuesday, February 20, 2007

From point zero to dream catchers

Some of you may have noticed that I have been in a mood. The bleak usually sunless cold has been getting to me. I look back at the photos I have been taking and I see the color schemes as bland. I yearn for bright vibrant colors and light. I love light. I am not afraid of it, I cherish it. The more it illuminates the better. I even considered going to a tanning salon, that's how bad it got. I am a natural chick. I towel dry my hair and don't shave my legs. Why would I be considering a tanning salon? That's desperation for you.

I am feeling a bit better tonight for various reasons. For one, I tend to take action when I hit point zero. In addition, my dearest papa is visiting me this weekend. He will "cheer me up" he says :) Thirdly, we have an incredible group that we are privileged to share time with this week at work. Native women and one man. Today, we invited a colleague of ours to drive across a few mountains to create dream catchers with us. We spent all day making them with mellow tunes playing in the background. Time was slower as it always seems to be for me when I am on the reservation. My hyper anxious anglo spirit is forced to slow down and listen.


It took me all day to slow down. I hope that I will be more in tune tomorrow. Making dream catchers today helped. Mine is still unfinished. I need to add feathers- my goals and dreams. I will work on this tonight.
I am so grateful for today. It made me get off my adminstrative and statistical throne and become someone who listens and challenges herself at every moment again. This is where I am the most inspired. Plus, it helped that my hands were busy. I have endorphins in my hands by the way.
A special thank you to bluegrrrl and carol gee. You respond and support me when I need it most. The blogopshere has been a wonderful addition to my solitary yet committed and focused life.
Complete solitude. That was an extra challenge that I faced this weekend. My somewhat removed yet loved and much effort at trying to understand partner decided to start dating someone else. I cannot commit to remaining in my current stopping place was the deciding factor.
It's time for my feathers, what I yearn for in my life, what I hope to give...
I have the best intentions to take another photo of the finished product. Until then, Buenas Noches, Bonne Nuit, Massah Alkhayr...
Que suenes con los angeles,
Margarita, Marguerite, Margaret

11 comments:

woman wandering said...

It was nice to read this post ... good luck with all you have to decide :)

Lacithecat said...

Oh my. I so understand where you are coming from. And I love what you did with your dream catcher. I hope it carries you over the divide.

((hug))

margaret said...

Thanks, lacithecat.

margaret said...

wandering woman,
It will take me a lifetime to make all of the decisions that I have to make. Thanks for the encouragement.

bluegrrrrl said...

There is always a way out of darkness if you keep following the light...

I felt my own stress level start to go down when I read this! The dreamcatcher sounds like a wonderful creative outlet. Did you add the feathers yet?

margaret said...

Yes, the feathers are finished but I took it to the office and forgot it there. I'll have to take a photo next week.

Carol Gee said...

Though I am anglo, I was raised on what was once part of a Native American Reservation. I have a dream catcher from that tribe hanging to the right of my bed. I also run a dream group for psychotherapists.
I enjoyed what you said about working with your hands. It is a kind of rebalancing that is mysterious. Regards to you, as always.

Coffee Messiah said...

What a nice way to meditate! ; )

Fay said...

Marhaba Margaret
I am looking forward to seeing the photo with the feathers!
In a way I am like you, I tend to "take action when I hit point zero"... it always helped me to refocus
Salamat

Julie said...

beautiful.

amazing what beautiful things come out of the most ugly situations.
hope you're feeling better.

margaret said...

Wow, so many comments. Thanks, carol, coffee messiah, fay, and julie! Yes, the feathers are finished I'll post them shortly :)