I spent the weekend in Seattle. A new and difficult adventure, as I have already written.
Despite my torbelino of feelings, I did stop and take these two last photos. What a geographically diverse state I live in. You can go from rain forest to high altiplano desert in a matter of an hour.
These are some photos from this adventure. Not the first day along the cold windy beautiful yet grey skied Puget Sound, but from the second day when I took photos of the abundant green and blossoming nature of this wet city.
After this weekend, I am feeling very alive and whole in ways that I have never felt before.
At the same time, I am also feeling more exposed than I have ever been.
A raw vulnerability is what I am feeling. Perhaps this is the way my hands feel when I am determined not to use gloves in the middle of winter.
On my drive home between the repetitive playings of my one Dixie Chicks CD, I kept on thinking about Eve Ensler.
I am proposing that we reconceive the dream. That we consider what would happen if security were not the point of our existence. That we find freedom, aliveness, and power not from what contains, locates or protects us but from what, dissolves, reveals, and expands us.
- Eve Ensler
The thing is, I know how to live without security. I know how to push the envelope and I am sick of it. I want someone to care for me, nurture me, accept me for all that I am. That is the "expanding" that I need.