Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Private Pity Festival

I was having a private pity festival yesterday. Every time someone at work used the word "partner," "boyfriend," girlfriend," "wife," "husband," or talked about how so and so got engaged and this other couple were eloping I was secretly grumbling. Hopefully, it wasn't obvious. I was working hard on sounding excited. Probably too hard. Plus, I was always ready to change the subject.

When I got home, I decided that I needed to do something about this noisy party. Making things, being visual and using my hands always seems to help and so I played Angelique Kidjo over and over again and made postcards.

This is the first time I worked on a theme. I was going to deal with the party and the annoying heavy feeling in my chest. I was carrying rocks.

I made more that are not finished yet, neither are these, but I really like looking at them together. I love the color combo- so vibrant. And I like them together. I may not even mail them (they are quite heavy for mail anyway because of the rocks.) I am thinking they would make a nice hanging triptych. Using wire or ribbon- probably wire, copper, it's much more raw. I like raw.

How much of you did I make up from the start?
How much did I not see you at all?
How much of what I “remember” was only made up in my head?
-Rebecca Brown
I am really liking Rebecca Brown's writing, by the way. She makes so much sense to me. Very real and definitely morbid at times. And she uses run on metaphors that morph as they continue, crushed together like cars in a multi car wreck.
I imagine I will have more to say about her later.
I want to throw one more quote into the blog pot that I found at Yearning for God. It is a perfect conclusion.
"An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by its own fullness, not by its reception."
-Harold Loukes


Jan said...

Keep plugging away. Thanks for visiting my blog and for posting that quote I love.

Lacithecat said...

I really understand. I am so tired of my crazy relationships and feeling a bit down about the recent one lately (for reasons that I don't even understand). Last night I decided that I am not going to date for a while. I just want to be left alone for a while. I wish I had your outlet ... I just took my fustration out via dancing to Shakira's whole item. Feel better.


margaret said...

Jan, thanks.
Lacithecat, I have a tendency to listen to Shakira when I am in a mood as well.
Can't say that I have any faith that things will get any better.

Lacithecat said...

I don't know Margaret. I have this theory that as bad as I have been treated lately, there has to be silver lining someone in the fucking clouds!! (yep ... and I rarely use such words, but there is a limit everyone can take and its not different in love).

Frida said...

I love both quotes and think you are very smart to let the feelings out through your art making. I find making collages helps me release a lot of feelings that would otherwise poison me - from anger to sadness, from pity to envy - I stamp and cut and stick and slowly it releases.